snake fields: a poem

I.

like a train
it went quite fast, and then it stopped
nothing strange until you look at it
sideways

II.

walking through snake fields
wandering through snake fields
no meaning no harp
no reason and no rhyme
there seem to be people here anyway

tram is blank: a poem

when the tram is blank
when the wind has died down
when the rail isn't wired
when the coast is clear
get out of the tram
get to the surface
warn everybody

creak badger: a poem

creak badger
hunting for a good meal
do you see it there?
do you see that it is hungry?
why don't you feed it something?
why don't you take money out of your pocket
and buy it a meal?
man?

the stupid rhyming poem

under the pyramids
in a grove
a very sexy hand
on a hot, hot stove

we eat yams and we eat gruel
we learn mathematics at our fun new school

another little song

a farmer's life for me
a farmer's life for thee
hi ho the cherry-o
a farmer's life for we

how do you do it: a poem

somewhere out in heaven
a sheep runs for its life
a strong day destroyer
finds it anyway

life is good on planet mars
everyone there agrees

everyone agrees on everything,
eventually

a little song

tibia and femur
kitty cat and lemur
everyone is happy in the jungle

helicopter man: a poem

here is the man
he likes to fly in the helicopter
everyone tells him don't do that
he doesn't understand the don't do that
his helicopter is gone
what does he do?
he is very confused but that's okay
life goes on

Todd

One afternoon at the beach, I came upon a beautifully constructed sandcastle. Upon close inspection, I found that it was replete with windows, doors, and little rooms. What a wonder of craftsmanship and devotion, I thought to myself. Just then, as I was thinking that thing to myself, I heard a little voice, not unlike what you would imagine a mouse's voice would sound like. I heard the voice again, and gathered that it was coming from the magnificent sandcastle. I crouched down, and heard the voice again, and clearly.

"You there," it said, "tall guy."

Out from the front door of the castle came a tiny little crab, and I realized that it was the speaker.

"Me?" I asked it.

"Yes, you," said the crab. "I got a favor to ask."

"Well," I told him, "I would be happy to help you out, little crab."

"Can you watch my castle while I go get something to eat?"

I thought about it. "Sure thing," I said.

"Thanks. Just make sure nothing bad happens. It took me forever to build this place."

"Okay. Good luck."

"Thanks," he said again, and hurried off into the ocean.

I sat for a while next to the castle, admiring it, staring off into the sunset, waiting for the little crab to return. A seagull squawked off in the distance and I was reminded of our childhood trips to the Jersey Shore. After about twenty minutes, when the sun was more than halfway into the ocean, the crab came scuttling out of the water and up towards me.

"Thanks, pal," he said. "Boy, am I stuffed."

"You're welcome," I told him.

"Listen, I don't know how I can pay you back for this. I usually have some polished glass or a nice seashell lying around, but I'm hard up at the moment."

"Don't worry about it."

"I appreciate it, buddy. Hey, if you're ever in the area again, I'll make it up to you."

"Sounds good, but how will I know where to find you? This castle can't last long so close to the water."

"Not a problem," said the crab. "Next time you're at the beach, just ask for Todd."

no jungle snakes: a short poem

look out your window
tell the small village that it is okay
because there are no more jungle snakes here
that's a good feeling

minute differences: a poem

franch falm
good farm
good time
all right time

blow-up tortoise
not for sale
but i wanna buy it
not for sale

minute difference
one or two here or there
they make things separate
gotta make things separate

heaven's only spike: a poem

he is heaven's only spike
he fixes the problems for them
he thinks about their problems and they are gone
that's his amazing talent

at home he is different
he is so crazy and kooky at home
you have no idea
it's totally hilarious

hot toodle: a poem

dancing on a hot toodle
that's a good goodbye
associates with a hot toodle
everyone will envy you
drive a fast car all right okay
drive real cool and fast
the california way

tamblag and varnish: a poem

up on the mountain
in the creek
oh, there is a man
tamblag, the great man

down in the valley
with the clams and the fields
oh, there is a man
varnish, the great man

one day they go together
maybe to the strong fortress?
and they say to the fortress men
that they ain't gonna take it no more

talking about: a poem

what glorious tales i hear!
what fun times they all have!
vobbo rides the dragon, yeah
vobbo drinks that one type of thing, okay,
but that's his deal, that's what he does,
so stop talking about it like you know about it,
okay?

hunter gazbackian: a poem

I.

apes of denham county
they have a great day!
and hunter gazbackian
he has a great day!

what a strong voyage
to have in a great oak ship!
oh man!!!!

II.

hunter francis man
what a name he had
wow, what a guy

we could go on and on out here
we could go on and on about
hunter and the other apes
but that's for another day

minimum shelf quality: a poem

lo my hearties
lo my good friends
here is a message from the state man
here is a song from the happy singer
a pack of crisp nougat
nougat
nougat, let's have it
the message says
"do not remove until
minimum shelf quality is reached"
what a great message