banana bounty: a poem

I.

lo have i sailed
so many years at sea
so many years away from my family
but it's all good now,
y'all

II.

we have returned
we have returned, glorious and beautiful
for we have the banana bounty
may peace visit this kingdom

we: a poem

so like cattle are we
flying through the air to our jobs
swimming through the ocean to our families
so like cattle are we

so like zoo animals are we
caged like the slaves of tender love
in our cages
like zoo animals

so shall we find a way
a way to scale the mountains
the mountains of our inner hearts
the mountains that teach us things
about life and strength and beauty
and also about being friends
so shall we find a way

short humor-sketch: a second sketch

one day i flipped a coin
it landed heads-up
i laughed
and something hit me in the face

a short sketch

humble young farmer
wakes to find his crops gone
upon their return
he throws his hosannahs skyward

man who lives in room
man who writes things like "destroyed face"
his pants are too tight
borzoi dognoise

charlo: a poem

destroy ex fun bot
a good time in charlo
a good time for charlo
a good time aeroplane goes over charlo
and you see charlo
and you think of destroy ex fun bot
and you weep at charlo

toothgrinder

toothgrinder is good
toothgrinder goes up a hill and you never see him again

my poem to the lord: a poem

o lord! for you i send my hosannahs skyward
thy name brings me peace, thy will, purpose
i'm thinking of a number, lord
can you guess what it is?
that's right, it was four. you're great at this.

vanished think bar: a poem

I.

lo vanishing
lo bar
lo my thoughts
how nice they are

II.

henceforth shall ye be known as
the good man of the field
henceforth shall ye speak
the nice things for the people

hold crops in your hand and eat them,
yes the life is good

III.

lo everybody
lo how's it going

vanished thought bar: a poem

one day, in bar,
i have vanished thought
and it come back new
but i know it no is thought same no and

vie capsules: a poem

vie capsules
hand them out to all
we're good
vie capsules

broken record
i'm a broken record
no man's land
no mans land

vie capsules
i eat them like always, man
it's a good
it's a vie capsules

where is the man's land
where do the mans land
where do they vie capsules
what are the vie capsules

barnival: a poem

barnival bag
sad old hag
in the lake
is a dirty rag

a fish in the lake
a clam in the bake
everyone enjoys
some fresh-baked hake

nonsense women and nonsense men
couldn't put nonsense together again
the barnival is back in town
and poems that rhyme are really good

conscientiousness: thoughts

One day I was thinking about conscientiousness, and how cool it is. It's so fresh and happening!

twerp guts: a poem

i dug a hole
and i'm going to fill it
with your twerp guts,
twerp.

tom cottage thinks: a poem

in his study,
tom cottage stares at the blank page in front of him
but all he can think of is the hard shell
of the time tortoise
that brought him here

hiero flavius: a poem

you are a great painter
you paint pictures of
bark beetle
wooden raft
that's good
you are a great painter, hiero flavius

monoxious: a poem

sinister monoxious
treedwelling
indwelling
laugh it off
laugh it off, you dumb cow

monoxious and bag
and car and pave mant
laugh it off

turncalst: a poem

drip and drip turncalst
moron harvest at noon
everyone jump off the thing
no questions asked

the lovely glade: a poem

what enchanting glade is this
where yonder unicorn leaps and hops
and young toads learn how to sing
and a dainty princess is graced by soft moonlight
what the fuck am i saying

untitled aside

a trim tramp on the trampoline
ha ha ha

surface tension: a poem

hornet brigade eats the land
say goodbye to the land
hornets shoot out your hand
that sure is useful sometimes
pipe-walkin', a good time
cliff-walkin' is always a good time
jump from that thing, okay,
it's a good time i guess
i made you welcome to this earth
you made it a charnel house

snake fields: a poem

I.

like a train
it went quite fast, and then it stopped
nothing strange until you look at it
sideways

II.

walking through snake fields
wandering through snake fields
no meaning no harp
no reason and no rhyme
there seem to be people here anyway

tram is blank: a poem

when the tram is blank
when the wind has died down
when the rail isn't wired
when the coast is clear
get out of the tram
get to the surface
warn everybody

creak badger: a poem

creak badger
hunting for a good meal
do you see it there?
do you see that it is hungry?
why don't you feed it something?
why don't you take money out of your pocket
and buy it a meal?
man?

the stupid rhyming poem

under the pyramids
in a grove
a very sexy hand
on a hot, hot stove

we eat yams and we eat gruel
we learn mathematics at our fun new school

another little song

a farmer's life for me
a farmer's life for thee
hi ho the cherry-o
a farmer's life for we

how do you do it: a poem

somewhere out in heaven
a sheep runs for its life
a strong day destroyer
finds it anyway

life is good on planet mars
everyone there agrees

everyone agrees on everything,
eventually

a little song

tibia and femur
kitty cat and lemur
everyone is happy in the jungle

helicopter man: a poem

here is the man
he likes to fly in the helicopter
everyone tells him don't do that
he doesn't understand the don't do that
his helicopter is gone
what does he do?
he is very confused but that's okay
life goes on

Todd

One afternoon at the beach, I came upon a beautifully constructed sandcastle. Upon close inspection, I found that it was replete with windows, doors, and little rooms. What a wonder of craftsmanship and devotion, I thought to myself. Just then, as I was thinking that thing to myself, I heard a little voice, not unlike what you would imagine a mouse's voice would sound like. I heard the voice again, and gathered that it was coming from the magnificent sandcastle. I crouched down, and heard the voice again, and clearly.

"You there," it said, "tall guy."

Out from the front door of the castle came a tiny little crab, and I realized that it was the speaker.

"Me?" I asked it.

"Yes, you," said the crab. "I got a favor to ask."

"Well," I told him, "I would be happy to help you out, little crab."

"Can you watch my castle while I go get something to eat?"

I thought about it. "Sure thing," I said.

"Thanks. Just make sure nothing bad happens. It took me forever to build this place."

"Okay. Good luck."

"Thanks," he said again, and hurried off into the ocean.

I sat for a while next to the castle, admiring it, staring off into the sunset, waiting for the little crab to return. A seagull squawked off in the distance and I was reminded of our childhood trips to the Jersey Shore. After about twenty minutes, when the sun was more than halfway into the ocean, the crab came scuttling out of the water and up towards me.

"Thanks, pal," he said. "Boy, am I stuffed."

"You're welcome," I told him.

"Listen, I don't know how I can pay you back for this. I usually have some polished glass or a nice seashell lying around, but I'm hard up at the moment."

"Don't worry about it."

"I appreciate it, buddy. Hey, if you're ever in the area again, I'll make it up to you."

"Sounds good, but how will I know where to find you? This castle can't last long so close to the water."

"Not a problem," said the crab. "Next time you're at the beach, just ask for Todd."

no jungle snakes: a short poem

look out your window
tell the small village that it is okay
because there are no more jungle snakes here
that's a good feeling

minute differences: a poem

franch falm
good farm
good time
all right time

blow-up tortoise
not for sale
but i wanna buy it
not for sale

minute difference
one or two here or there
they make things separate
gotta make things separate

heaven's only spike: a poem

he is heaven's only spike
he fixes the problems for them
he thinks about their problems and they are gone
that's his amazing talent

at home he is different
he is so crazy and kooky at home
you have no idea
it's totally hilarious

hot toodle: a poem

dancing on a hot toodle
that's a good goodbye
associates with a hot toodle
everyone will envy you
drive a fast car all right okay
drive real cool and fast
the california way

tamblag and varnish: a poem

up on the mountain
in the creek
oh, there is a man
tamblag, the great man

down in the valley
with the clams and the fields
oh, there is a man
varnish, the great man

one day they go together
maybe to the strong fortress?
and they say to the fortress men
that they ain't gonna take it no more

talking about: a poem

what glorious tales i hear!
what fun times they all have!
vobbo rides the dragon, yeah
vobbo drinks that one type of thing, okay,
but that's his deal, that's what he does,
so stop talking about it like you know about it,
okay?

hunter gazbackian: a poem

I.

apes of denham county
they have a great day!
and hunter gazbackian
he has a great day!

what a strong voyage
to have in a great oak ship!
oh man!!!!

II.

hunter francis man
what a name he had
wow, what a guy

we could go on and on out here
we could go on and on about
hunter and the other apes
but that's for another day

minimum shelf quality: a poem

lo my hearties
lo my good friends
here is a message from the state man
here is a song from the happy singer
a pack of crisp nougat
nougat
nougat, let's have it
the message says
"do not remove until
minimum shelf quality is reached"
what a great message

time machine interlude: a poem

time machine men
time machine women
dogs go with them
in the time machine

no time for this
no time for that
it's funny how they do things
in the other county

in a time machine
there is no time
that's a paradox
no no no

in the year before this one
there was a time machine
in my opinion
crab time, good time

trying plods: a poem

blods, in a heap
blods, make them in a furnace
where are you, blods?
trying blods
welling blods
trying plods
working a plod plan
to take over the earth

gold fossils: a poem

I.

out in the field
we don't know
anything

out in the field
we repeat ourselves
for effect

II.

there are gold fossils
there are a wrong rebus
you smell the gold
you pick it up on the air
it's like a strong harp sound
it soothes you
yeah
yeah, it does

gentrols: a poem

gentrols flying high
they make use of the winds
look upon them
see yourself in their motion
see yourself in their fate
their fate which is their doom
now you know the way of god

shifting corpses: a poem

oh now
shifting corpses
oh now
shifting crop
shifting crop!

all the time now
get it down
all the time now
get it down
all the time now
all right okay!

in a bag a friend!
in time a friend!
let's do it here!
the plans are made!

an important time!!!!!!

in bof field: a poem

in bof field...
some time ago
there walked a beast
heh, a beast
heh, a beast

what a guy
what a super guy he was to us all
we paid for dinner

okay, we didn't pay for dinner
what a joker

darg: a short poem

lovin'
dargin'
havin' a great time
in 2007
love darg

SifBlog History!: Early draft of "vague operaies: a poem"

vague operaies
eyes
operaies
shill brag
shill frab
operaies
you need the blue key

(Original)

the song of god: a poem

lord
heavenly lord
god
heavenly god
all the angels
the heavenly angels
all the heaven-men
the heaven-men who do good
the avatars of his holiness
they are so good
the ones who present him with gifts
they too are good
the ones who present him with sacrifices
they are also good
all the disciples and those like them
they have our blessing
all the same disciples
they have our blessing
the kings and the queens of the land
they are touched by his grace
the commoners and the peasants and the people
they seek his wisdom and find it
the animals what know no better
they are protected by his glory
the sun and the moon and the stars
they don't understand what it is they make up
the universe and the planets and the other men around them
they wouldn't know but they are also touched
the border between the worlds
it is graceful
the pen that writes the story about them
it is blessed as well
all of them, so happy
you see this and you agree and you sing

carpeted glass: a poem

let's get a carpet it glass
what does that mean
let's go darv the car
what does that mean
clink and clank went the glasses
i don't even know
vic, are you there?
ha ha, ok

an arch-class dervish sings: a poem

we all gathered in the hall
arm to arm, and nervous
to hear him talk
he was an arch-class dervish
the highest class
they said he had a lot to say
a lot of sense to make.
he didn't make any.

the trem caspis: a poem

oh,
it's the trem caspis
he's lost it
i don't even know why he does it anymore
i don't know why they don't
take his name away

what does that even mean?
what's a trem caspis?
does anyone even care anymore?
get rid of the trem caspis.

taut hawsers on my ship: a poem

taut hawsers on my ship, oh!
my ship sails on the ocean, yes!
it sails on the ocean, all right!
the water is very narrow, oh!
narrow!
let's do it!

all right!!!!!

The Moon Rocket: a recollection

I remember, as a boy, looking at the moon, and asking my father what it was. He told me it was the moon, and to get there one must take a rocket. I swore to myself I would build a rocket and go to the moon. Would you believe it really happened??!???!?????

movis: a poem

there is planet
movis

it name planet
movis

we go planet
we send man in bottle

he he haw haw

lander & harmonize: a poem

lander
and harmonize
scour the land
find nature for the land
create a colony on the land

they were visionaries in their day
they created in their day
finding new ways to say our words
and to create new things

it's a strange and crazy mixed up cycle

once again: a poem

once again
i wake up
and find myself

metaphorically speaking.

plaster busts: a poem

in the house of my ancestors
i sought the knowledge of ancients
i thought it would be a good place
...but i was wrong
all the plaster busts
they-a were a-talkin' a' me
and they said...
"don't do that"
heh heh

sarvin': a poem

we are the worker-men
we build a great machine for everyone
we're working, and it feels great
we're the workin' men

the machine is for sarvin'
sarvin' will do amazing things
everyone, look up
it's a great thing there in the sky

h809: poem

h809
h809
halloween
halloween
ooh ah dracula

i blot a tasister radio

you get a bonus on the fruit machine
when you

mailmarm: a poem

under the bridge
through the woods
a mailmarm plots
a mailmarm waits

there are those who seek its return
there are people in the valley
who want to see it all go that way
they know there's a mailmarm

intensive blofat converter: a poem

metal acreage
intensive blofat converter
machine of harm
waste flows thru' a tube
morret engine collapses transport dropsy
this all makes sense

Bandolier!: a song

oh, in the mountains
oh, in the west
we're on a wagon train
we're all a-movin' west

oh, my old montana
oh, my wagon train
don't you ever leave me
don't you ever go

we're on a baaaaaaandolier
we're on a baaaaaaandolier

hey there, brother, what do you say?
movin' on the wagon train, movin' today!
got lots of food, and supplies for the trip
got lots of money, but we're scared of indians

we're on a baaaaaaandolier
we're on a baaaaaaandolier

homing pons: a poem

a magic in the batch
a magic man
a time for over and under
a time for up and down
a magic homing pon
it comes toward you
it teaches you
it teaches you about the ways of the world
it's a homing pon

love is in the air: a poem-song

love is in the air
oh oh can you feel it

love is everywhere
oh oh i can feel it

talkin' bout good old times
talkin' bout fun good times
talkin' bout all my friends
they're dancin'

go guys!

apple can: a poem

one day i made a remark to my mother
i never forgot it
and it went a little sumpin' like thiiiiiiis

now i lay myself upon scorch'd plains: a poem

o the plains!
how i long for you!
my humble home
my ancestral home
do you know this place
do you know what is in my heart
try your best
try your best to sense that
it's a good thing
the scorch'd plains

klinghoffer's remorse: a poem

his name was klinghoffer
he was a good person
do you remember him?

his name was barris
he was a great old person
do you remember him?

the h-motion of his speech
it was moving
you'll agree

man: an abstract poem

man
collapsing man
all the way in the building
all the way in the building

going there
going blank
underside of ranch

Suffering Bridge

I can hear it all the way from here.

funlight: a poem

town of funlight
town of good times
town of hopes and dreams
leave'em here
my man,
check out that funlight
it's a great funlight
there's a hope for all of us
there's a good thing there
stay out of riverdale

The Elijah K. Turnbull Memorial

Go there and pay your respects

the return of god: a poem

I.

apple, pear
orange, lime
strawberry, raspberry
all the time

angelfish, catfish
everyone's happy
in the world of candy
everyone is happy

II.

from over the hill i see him coming
it's god
it's god
you know the one i mean

blanch maven: a poem

in a oak tree there's my friend
he sings that song
you know the one

every year he turn into a pond
listen up
every year he turn into a pond
there's no escape

i sense the greater spirits: a poem

I.

i sense the greater spirits
they speak to me in ancient tongues
ancient languages
they talk about the old times
the good times
the times we had together
and the times i know we'll always have

together

II.

here
there
on the horizon
coming toward us
look at it
isn't it wonderful?
isn't it the most wonderful thing
the wonderful thing you ever did see?
yes

marveling: a poem

you sit there in your house
they sit there in their houses
watching and seeing...the world

the world....
it goes by....
yet no one feels anything....

what a beautiful life
and yet there is no reason
to let it pass you by, my brother
can you dig it?

oh oh: a poem

toot toot on it
everybody jump on it
get crazy haha
get crazy with it, all right

i'm the maestro
let me dance

now safbag

is clean now

ha

monster sally: an epic poem

let them tell you about the cave
and the mountains where the cave
and the lake where the cave
and the monster where the cave
and the cavern where the cave
and the canyon where the cave
is

margerin: a poem

on the

margerin

so fash
so fast
school of fish
they're so smart
they're so goddamn smart
except they ain't.

do you know that i love you?: a poem

my sweet heart
a loving gesture
says the world to me

a gentle smile
is so loving

i feel like the man
who climbed a redwood tree
searching for a rare animal

.......only to find himself

John...

I can't get SifBlog back online without Dennis Nedry.

snybo: a poem

snybo says so much
says
no things
says...

so much of nothing
you know?

snybo, a hot alabaster mountain
a river made of all our dreams
that's the snybo
that's what the world is about

it's a life lesson
it's a fun dream
that's all

the diamond dungeon: an important poem

there is the diamond dungeon
it's so fresh
so funky
i need to get down with it

hunger dreams: a poem

I.

when i woke up
this morning
the sun was up
it was shining

the sun's rays
so bright
it made me think of
the crustaceans under the sea
the ones that did the song
the one about the love

II.

you go out into the field
you see all the trees around you
you feel this
it feels extreme

III.

it's so good to think
of a reason
to eat the hot crawfish

in the hunger dreams

the morning clam harvest: a poem

I.

as a young boy
in the valley
near the beach
we woke up

early

we held the clams
in our hands
we touched the clams
with our fingers
we knew what it was to live
and also to die

II.

i miss those days
not a day goes by
that i don't miss those days
those good days
those clam picking days
those days when we learned

to be men

collapsial bohonk cheesfunger: a think-session

think about it

go

crispus dawn: a poem

snidely boys
at crispus dawn
out the window
of crispus dawn

time for cakes
on crispus dawn
everybody knows
it's crispus dawn

grrrrrr arrrrrgh

ggrrrrrr
grrrrrrrruuuuhh

garrrr
garrrrrrrr

garrrrrrr

gruuuuhhhhh arrrruuugghh

arrrugh

gruhhhhhh


garrrrrrggggghhhhh


grrrruuuuuuuuuuuhhh


arrrgghhhhhhh

fish harmony: an announcement

we make fish

at the fish harmony

napolein: a poem

napolein
conquerar
seven apes for them
seven apes for you
signs in the mountain
don't do it!
signs in the valley
don't do it!

hey, man
don't do it!

valence electrons: a poem

on a steeple
in a bag
valence electrons

they signify my feelings
valence electrons

they signify our relationship
those valence electrons

talkin' bout feelings
those funky funky valence electrons

how do i love y'all?
let me count the wayz

a mystery journey

imagine yourself...
imagine the spaceship...
imagine all the amazing functions...

you go on a journey!
you go all the way in the spaceship!
wow!
look there!
and over there!
amazing feats of human kindness!
wow!!!!!!

trampled: a poem

trampled under foot
so much time left
trampled under hoof
so much time left
everybody dances
in the worst belt
every body dances
in the wurst belt
goblin friends of lord
in the time belt

dusty old things: a poem

beside his chair
his brogans sit
take out your map
and look at it
stop all the clocks
cut off the telephone
prevent the dog from barking with a multifoliate rose

tanker spill: a lament

oh

on the news

a tanker spill

little birdies

little fishies

little sealies

a tanker spill


thank you

gorging on: a poem

I.

no sounds
only space
no lights
only space
where's that man?
i don't know

II.

no sounds
no beats
no hates

no sbh

III.

alligator is a symbol
lying down in bed
all'gat'r
bed

IV.

gorging on
alligator?

oh

chatter: a poem

i hear a voice saying,
i hear voices saying,
i hear a voice saying,
i hear voices saying,

on the radio
on the radio
on the radio they're

i hear a voice saying,
a man's voice saying,

on my radio
on my radio

i hear a voice saying,
"forget about freeman"

Time

A Long Time
A Time
A Long Time
Wh-

hearts on a moonbeam!: a poem song

we got hearts! (hearts!)
hearts up on a moonbeam, hearts! (yeah!)
hearts up on a moonbeam!

when everyone gets you down!
when everyone says "hey hey"!
it's time...
it's time.....
time for the love of the moonbeam!
take it back!

and smile!

an announce-bag

there a

announce-bag

end o' th'world

announce-bag there

the smart hen: an ode

o! to be the smart hen
to have great egg times
o! o! to be a smart roos'er
a roos'er who makes the bacon
you know how it is, you know
you know, you know how it is
a smart hen, a good tiding
they came and found a smart hen
the smart hen, a word from god
now you get, you old friend of him
o! a smart hen, a smart barn....heh

vague operaies: a poem

vague operaies
operaies
varnus, climus
climus

here they go
everybody say
here
vague operaies
eyes
operaies
friskel'
he went that way
ate him

tag friend: a poem

a tag friend
a heart friend
the can of
of
the can of
o'
o' the heavens
the torn heavens and

the opus

The triking happened

I told you guys......i told you guys......i told you guys

the triking

It's coming soon

Prepare everyone

cran breads: a harp poem

harp, hrap
no time for love
cran breads
a loving situation
a fryin'
a harp

oes vos: a poem

I.

hebley went to mars
no rocks, no vials
no apes and no shares
nothing there

o you young hebley
how sad this vaca'tion is

II.

oes vos
here in the oes vos
i hear that train
it's saying
hey hey
ho ho
this penis party's got to go
hey hey
ho ho

III.

three things
three important things:

bottled carp
tendentious foodfork
ape against galaxies

no one knows them
no one sees them
no one hears them
no one smells them
no one feels them
but they feel the love,
man.
they feel the love.

IV.

caspus on his boat:
look a'im
lookim
caspus eats a whole tyre
borl ap
no way

iguanodon times: a poem

I.

when
in the age
of the iguanodon

the old times...
the good times...

many years before crab
many years before the space mans
i came to this land
i touched its soil
i felt its troubles

II.

iguana
he say
who are you

i say
i say to him
i floated here
on my time tortoise

franch: a poem

so funny the word
so funny!

so crazy and good!

the franch!

oh!

tree have bark: a wondering

if a tree have bark
ain't nobody else have bark

ebb tone: a poem

with a shell
make the ebb tone
with a heart
make the ebb tone
there's a hill
there's a hilltop
it's a hilltop
let's get it going
let's move the hilltop
stop that
no stop that
no stop that
it's the ebb man
it's the ebb men
it's the hilltop
oh boy

colap: a poem

colap:
mountaintop
mountainbottom
through the mountains
eight chirps
three seconds
it's amazing

vobbo h.

talk about vobbo h.

you don't wanna

the poem: a poem

the poem walked down the street
he checked his watch
man, was it hot
to be continued

horse bon: a poem

ro ro!
ba ba!

horse go fast,
horse go slow
eat that ketchup,
watch it go!

the horse is flying
the horse is crying
the horse got dumped by his girlfriend of like 3 years

On unintentionally sexual poetry

"Whoops, I didn't mean it that way."

archer's arrows: a beautiful poem

I.

hark
methinks i hear'd
arrows flying
through the fat air

II.

love is in our hearts
and in our bodies
you can feel it
riiiiiiight here

III.

sense it
taste it
smell it
sense it
it's the hot arrow
the hot arrow of love

flannigan morris: a poem

flannigan blake and morris
the two brothers
the two people of the dream
they go to the country
they're picking so many blueberries
you cannot possibly stop them
just look on
and watch
in wonder

crisp pieces: a poem

i reach into the bag
my hand fills with crisp pieces
they reflect the ache of my life
and all our lives
they reflect the way time is like
a shattered mirror
in pieces
do you see where i'm going with this
or should i just, like
stop already?

the bullshit of god is the bullshit of our souls: a manifesto

I suggest to you that we all say 'to heck with the beeswax'

I suggest that we party down

I suggest that we freak out and get our grooves on

I suggest that we make the cow base

I suggest we do all that, and have a good time

For friends

cookie numbers: a poem

cookie
numbars
numbars

apelike
torn man
torn man

when they sayin
when they sayin
it's a pork bruce

and the pork bruce
it makes everything
it makes everything

make sense

just find it

on microphone: a poem

do you remember,
my countrymen,
when grapes weren't
so abundant
and microphones
grew
from the ground?
of course not
dude.

the ultimate dance: a poem

I.

rosen heights
building games
everything falls
in the hate of fresh

II.

no
no, no, no
i don't want it like that
you barge men
no way
no how
not with barge men
who won't do the ultimate dance

About falling in love

falling in love...

it changes you man

it changes your heart...your life...your dreams

everything changes with beautiful love

my stinger: a poem

management
oriental
you know it?
a train
so fast
oriental
you know it?
gordon freeman
get to lambda core
my stinger.

bottom lake: a poem

going to bottom lake
goodbye bottom lake
everyone at bottom lake
eats a minnow pie

whirling dervish: a poem

hush now
can't you see?
over the moutains
running
spinning
whirling
flying
keeping
lording
it's the dervish man
and he's a fireball of love

1895 blues: a poem

I.

i got electrical power
i got a velocipede
i got plans for the future
but i have to wait 5 years
before i can read lord jim
and i'm getting really anxious

i got those 1895 blues

II.

traveled here
with my time tortoise
it's so convenient
i can't wait to go surfing
in 1895

velarized alveolar lateral approximant: a poem

velarized alveolar lateral approximant
it's so fresh
it's so hip and downtown
get with the flavor
in 2007

Waffle Town, a new SifBlog imprint

Hey friend.

I bet you can't get enough SifBlog...



That's all right.

Because now there's Waffle Town.

It's our newest creation here at SifBlog™ Industries.

We hope you enjoy it.

Because here at SifBlog, we work day and night and day again, towards our one and only goal: bringing you fresh poems and stories, insightful social commentary, and hilarious topical cartoons that say something important about how we live today.

So next time you're thinking about having some fun and rocking some tunes, reach for SifBlog - the choice of a new generation.

rob thomas, the half-shell: a poem

here's a story
it's about rob thomas
the half-shell
and his friends
and his barn
and his dad hank
and his lawyer men
and his bogus quarterly
and his pure hate gongs
and his fiefdom
and his lordship
and his apple orchard
and his time tortoise
wait
wait, hold on
did you say he had
a fucking
time tortoise?

i did, i did

what did he do with it?

what do you think, man?
he traveled through time
cos i'm pretty sure...





that's what they're for.

bugo epps: a poem

bugo frog
bugo epps
where goes the magpie
i know not

butcho franks
the end of mans
everybody says
that guy is so crazy

trouble time: a poem

ball....
ox....
time....
brushes....

y'all in my pig-pen

trouble...
friends...
kings...
ape-crabs...

y'all also in my pig-pen

the man who wears chaps: a poem

on the east coast
on the west coast
ladies of great reknown
are always seen talking about
the man who wears chaps

the fire in his gaze
will move you
the sweetness of his breath
will make you say, "oh damn"
the smoothness of his voice
will end all world wars

let's hear it for
the man who wears chaps

traubo jenks: a lyric poem

listen now, my children
to the tale of traubo jenks
he ate all the pizza around
and put all his money in benks*

but everything wasn't so great
in his seemingly peachy-keen life
for he could not stomach the sound
of his awfully querulous wife

so one day traubo went down
to the isle of inisfree
and in one maginificent bound
he shot himself in the knee



*i'm sorry for that

box of fun: a poem

ooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooh!

the box!
the box of fun!
gonna catch it!
gonna run around the man!

jungle boy

a fun friend adventure

tonsil o!: a poem

say it man
tonsil o!
say it go
tonsil o!

friend of happer
friend of man
tractor o!, tractor o!

there's a copper hen
no there's not?
oh i get it now

Magazines to which I subscribe

• Giant Robot Standard
• Honeybee Prospectus
• H.H. Poodog's
• Golden Bar Man! Magazine
• Tencho Weekbon
• Gatekeeper Lord Digest

endoscope: a poem

I.

imagine
amongst the reeds
you find a tortoise
and it's so bodacious

what would you do?
what-what-what would you do?
a chicka chow now

II.

you're on your boat
your boat
remember?
there's a pork man
he's so friendly
and he sayin',
o children
consider phlebas
who was so bodacious
just like
that
tortoise
snap it

porqal bobs: a poem

all day long
porqal bobs
in the trees and in the houses
porqal bobs
at the store they sell
porqal bobs
in my head i hear about
porqal bobs

the end

the emerald voyage: a poem

braithwaite
among all hounds
we watch
we seek
we dare

enter all flesh
the devouring of the soul
i wish someone would shoot me
you know, with a gun
beep beep, crab meat

truck men: a poem

truck men
hard men
men i love
men you love

we're all brothers
at the factory
we're all brothers
in my dreams...

soul freakin': a freak-out

everybody at
the kiwanis club
wanna talk about

soul freakin'

everybody at
the nights of columbo
talkin' bout

a-soul freakin'

the shell of the waves: a love poem

so sweet like nectar
so heavenly like the stars
this feeling of freedom
this feeling of sweet times

you are to me
like the starfish is to the waves
always hiding in its shell
but only once
only once does it come out
and show everyone its beauty
in the water

that is the depth of our love

able-bodied young men: a poem

working on the train
working on the boat
working on the house
working on the car

everywhere in the world
able-bodied young men
they're getting together!
and they're having a good time!

trinket bow: a poem

sunday
i make my milk
tuesday
i make my chow
friday
i make lots of ribbons
and eat them
because i hate my parents

the king train: a poem

the king train
leaving...
the god train
leaving...
wonder where they go
oh oh oh
a frog and a ham
together in a bowl
together in a bowel
tripping the rift
sundays at eleven
thank you

tarantula rock: a song

did you hear?
there's a time
and a place
for everything!!!!

a time for love - tarantula rock!
a time for fun - tarantula rock!

who's that on my window?
it's a man named gary
does gary want some crab legs?
fuck yeah he does!
let's go!

lobster: a poem

I.

take it down
take it on
out in the sea
out in the dunes
(so dark!)

II.

everybody says
they see the lobster
ain't nobody funky enough
is my opinion

SO LOVING...

JUST IMAGINE THE TENDERNESS

oak tree love

a new generation discovers the pleasure

booster engine: a long poem

I.

we go we go
to and fro
to and fro
o i see the angels
they're doin' thangs

II.

sing a song
tra-la-la
cabbage is cheap
so is life
fuuuuuuck

III.

i don't know, what are you doing?
i don't know, just hanging out
why, what's up?
uh huh?
really?
okay.

IV.

seven men
eight women
crabs everywhere
the kingdom of the lord

V.

sing me a song, o boatkeeper
make it one of fish and dreams
and love and hope and all those things
and mountains and sweets
and most of all
make it a song of the times
because

because

because
we're gonna make it this time
we're gonna catch that rainbow
in the booster engine
amen.

The Wrong Time For Love: A Sad Song

(sung to the tune of "My Tallahassee Angel" by Rupert Ogleton)

I thought about love...
I thought about m'darling...
And then I saw...
Nobody's talkin'...
About love no more.....

Everywhere I go....
Everybody so so crazy....
But I'm a man...
With a heart...
And a guitar....

And Sheeeeeila!
You ain't in the house when I called you!
And Sheeeeeila!
I was singin' bout the rocket ships for you!

But ohhhhhh, ain't no time for love...

These daaaaays.....

A Song To Pump You Up

Yeah!
Come on!
Let's do it!
Let's go!
Good times!
Let's go!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Let's move!
Let's dance!
Let's work!
Have fun!

dog boss: a poem

here it is
i'm gonna show you

listen now
i'm gonna tell you

tell you about the...

DOG BOSS!

friendship in space: a poem

when the meteor goes
when the moon is going
where the jupiter goes
let's all get together
in the year of the future
let me hear you say yeah!
in the year of the moon men
we're gonna say yeah!

sometimes i think
sometimes i believe
that the moon, the moon
it's made of cheese!
all right!

six o'clock = ape o'clock

the Federal Gov't just announced it. from now on, six o'clock is to be known as ape o'clock.

ex.

"half past six"

is now

"half past ape"

Adjust clocks accordingly.

coming soon:

the devil's ham sandwich

one last dance for sweetness: a love poem

do you know
what my heart says
on the day of love?
i wish i could
i wish...
i want to put my thoughts
into the clouds,
and push them around
so they spell out your name
and shit

good time rap: a rap

rap rap rappin'
rappin' on the streets
rappin' all day
rappin' to the beats
rappin's what we do
every afternoon
havin' lots of fun
and watchin' cartoons!
yeah!

tame love: a poem

I.

whoa-oh
cadillac lovin'
whoa-oh
youth in love
whoa-oh
kings and love

II.

the time is here
for the elephant show
do you want to go with me?
yes or no
no? okay
okay
i'm just gonna sit maybe
maybe just sit here
watch a nature special or something
maybe think about killing myself
but you have a good time with jake, ok?
no hard feelings

here i go a cloud: a dream poem

in my dream i am a cloud
i do not like when things are loud
everybody here is proud
everybody here is moud
crab legs are 5 smackers a batch
get in line, fuckface

plugging: a poem

plugging
e'r'body plugging
where's my cat?
he's plugging
where's my dog?
he's plugging
thanks

frog-man: a poem

here comes frog-man
look at him go
here comes frog-man
look at him go
there goes frog-man
look at him go
there goes frog-man
look at him go
bye-bye

the song of the goldfisch: a poem

one day
under clouds of ambro'
under clouds, ambro'
we gon'
drank
and shit
listen
listen up
this shit is the real
hell,
i'll even throw in these beach towels
comp'd
'cause you my boy
, q*bert.

You're killin' me, guys. You're killin' me.

Where's that fire. I need that fire. I need my boys here. I need that sweet magic right now. I need that forrealness. Lemme hear y'all say yeah. Lemme hear y'all say hell yeah. I wanna hear the ladies in the back. Y'all ladies. Y'all fellas. C'mon now. C'mon'ow. I need that sweet magic fire.

The Holy Jericho Tompkins

One day, not long ago, a man of healthy age took a long and pleasing bike ride through a dark and winding wood. He eventually came to a stop after seeing a large fallen tree had blocked his path. Disembarking from his bicycle, he said a silent prayer to the Lord and, lo, there appeared before him, as if out of thin air, a stout, burly man with skin of gold.
"Gadzooks!" said the bike-rider, in surprise.
"Behold!" said the glorious golden man. "I am Jericho Tompkins, servant of our Lord, keeper of the faith, defender of the holy, and seeker of the chosen."
"I hope you can assist me, sir," said the bike-rider, still surprised.
"Behold!" said Jericho Tompkins, looking as radiant and as golden as ever. "I have heard your prayer and will help you presently, but first you must agree to a most ominous bargain."
"Whatever you ask, Mr. Tompkins," said the bewildered bike-rider. "Just that you deliver me from my trouble."
"Behold!" said the colossal man of gold as he produced from his massive rucksack a long wooden rod. "This is my magic staff, carved from a mystical disbarked elm tree by the Lord's sacred craftsmen. With it, I shall spirit you to your home, to live safely for all your days."
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Tompkins!" cried the bike-rider.
"Behold!" shouted the Holy Jericho Tompkins. "You must still agree on one condition, and one only. I desire a wife for to bear me sons, and I shall take yours in exchange for your ensured well-being."
The bike-rider, at first shocked, decided that he would agree to the deal. In the flicker of an instant, he found himself back in his country cottage. His wife was indeed gone, nowhere to be found, and he would never see her again for the rest of his days. Twenty-six years later, he died of a heart attack in his sleep. His funeral arrangements were handled by the state of South Dakota.

The End.

Farmer Tootlejohn

One day in the heat of March, a soggy hobo drifter decided to rest on a stretch of open field. But lo, after sleeping a few minutes he was abrutly awoken by a hard blow to the head. He looked up to see a herculean figure in stylish overalls holding a rake.
"Say hey!" said the hobo. "Why'd you strike me?"
"My name," said the imposing figure, "is Farmer Tootlejohn, and I'll not have my granpappy's field tainted with the stink of an itinerant drunkard."
"Why, I'm sorry, sir," said the hobo, who was indeed very sorry.
"The Lord may know mercy," said Farmer Tootlejohn, "but I do not."
The hobo drifter, in his final moments before being savagely beaten beyond the point of recovery, thought on his beautiful wife and the children he would never see off to college.

The End.

birking thompson: a poem

lo birking thompson
how you scale the mountains
how you drink the waters
how you skate the ices
how you struggle and heap
how you fight the evils
lo

bister of thoughts: a poem

duke lord
r....r.....
heavenly vassel
r.....
yall got to feel me
dog?

crab legs: a poem

you find the crab
you take the legs off the crab
you eat them
crab legs

Snape kills Dumbledore

Welcome to SifBlog - the future of internetting

Enclosed: maiden-voyage poëtry


Borpheus
Cornepheus
Oak and Maple, let's get it going
Elm and Maple, let's get it going
Watch out for Covenant dropships
Break it down now