Sunday, May 27, 2007

iguanodon times: a poem


in the age
of the iguanodon

the old times...
the good times...

many years before crab
many years before the space mans
i came to this land
i touched its soil
i felt its troubles


he say
who are you

i say
i say to him
i floated here
on my time tortoise

franch: a poem

so funny the word
so funny!

so crazy and good!

the franch!


tree have bark: a wondering

if a tree have bark
ain't nobody else have bark

ebb tone: a poem

with a shell
make the ebb tone
with a heart
make the ebb tone
there's a hill
there's a hilltop
it's a hilltop
let's get it going
let's move the hilltop
stop that
no stop that
no stop that
it's the ebb man
it's the ebb men
it's the hilltop
oh boy

Saturday, May 26, 2007

colap: a poem

through the mountains
eight chirps
three seconds
it's amazing

vobbo h.

talk about vobbo h.

you don't wanna

the poem: a poem

the poem walked down the street
he checked his watch
man, was it hot
to be continued

Thursday, May 24, 2007

horse bon: a poem

ro ro!
ba ba!

horse go fast,
horse go slow
eat that ketchup,
watch it go!

the horse is flying
the horse is crying
the horse got dumped by his girlfriend of like 3 years

On unintentionally sexual poetry

"Whoops, I didn't mean it that way."

archer's arrows: a beautiful poem


methinks i hear'd
arrows flying
through the fat air


love is in our hearts
and in our bodies
you can feel it
riiiiiiight here


sense it
taste it
smell it
sense it
it's the hot arrow
the hot arrow of love

flannigan morris: a poem

flannigan blake and morris
the two brothers
the two people of the dream
they go to the country
they're picking so many blueberries
you cannot possibly stop them
just look on
and watch
in wonder

crisp pieces: a poem

i reach into the bag
my hand fills with crisp pieces
they reflect the ache of my life
and all our lives
they reflect the way time is like
a shattered mirror
in pieces
do you see where i'm going with this
or should i just, like
stop already?

the bullshit of god is the bullshit of our souls: a manifesto

I suggest to you that we all say 'to heck with the beeswax'

I suggest that we party down

I suggest that we freak out and get our grooves on

I suggest that we make the cow base

I suggest we do all that, and have a good time

For friends

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

cookie numbers: a poem


torn man
torn man

when they sayin
when they sayin
it's a pork bruce

and the pork bruce
it makes everything
it makes everything

make sense

just find it

on microphone: a poem

do you remember,
my countrymen,
when grapes weren't
so abundant
and microphones
from the ground?
of course not

the ultimate dance: a poem


rosen heights
building games
everything falls
in the hate of fresh


no, no, no
i don't want it like that
you barge men
no way
no how
not with barge men
who won't do the ultimate dance

About falling in love

falling in love...

it changes you man

it changes your heart...your life...your dreams

everything changes with beautiful love

Monday, May 21, 2007

my stinger: a poem

you know it?
a train
so fast
you know it?
gordon freeman
get to lambda core
my stinger.

bottom lake: a poem

going to bottom lake
goodbye bottom lake
everyone at bottom lake
eats a minnow pie

Sunday, May 20, 2007

whirling dervish: a poem

hush now
can't you see?
over the moutains
it's the dervish man
and he's a fireball of love

1895 blues: a poem


i got electrical power
i got a velocipede
i got plans for the future
but i have to wait 5 years
before i can read lord jim
and i'm getting really anxious

i got those 1895 blues


traveled here
with my time tortoise
it's so convenient
i can't wait to go surfing
in 1895

velarized alveolar lateral approximant: a poem

velarized alveolar lateral approximant
it's so fresh
it's so hip and downtown
get with the flavor
in 2007

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Waffle Town, a new SifBlog imprint

Hey friend.

I bet you can't get enough SifBlog...

That's all right.

Because now there's Waffle Town.

It's our newest creation here at SifBlog™ Industries.

We hope you enjoy it.

Because here at SifBlog, we work day and night and day again, towards our one and only goal: bringing you fresh poems and stories, insightful social commentary, and hilarious topical cartoons that say something important about how we live today.

So next time you're thinking about having some fun and rocking some tunes, reach for SifBlog - the choice of a new generation.

rob thomas, the half-shell: a poem

here's a story
it's about rob thomas
the half-shell
and his friends
and his barn
and his dad hank
and his lawyer men
and his bogus quarterly
and his pure hate gongs
and his fiefdom
and his lordship
and his apple orchard
and his time tortoise
wait, hold on
did you say he had
a fucking
time tortoise?

i did, i did

what did he do with it?

what do you think, man?
he traveled through time
cos i'm pretty sure...

that's what they're for.

bugo epps: a poem

bugo frog
bugo epps
where goes the magpie
i know not

butcho franks
the end of mans
everybody says
that guy is so crazy

Friday, May 18, 2007

trouble time: a poem


y'all in my pig-pen


y'all also in my pig-pen

the man who wears chaps: a poem

on the east coast
on the west coast
ladies of great reknown
are always seen talking about
the man who wears chaps

the fire in his gaze
will move you
the sweetness of his breath
will make you say, "oh damn"
the smoothness of his voice
will end all world wars

let's hear it for
the man who wears chaps

traubo jenks: a lyric poem

listen now, my children
to the tale of traubo jenks
he ate all the pizza around
and put all his money in benks*

but everything wasn't so great
in his seemingly peachy-keen life
for he could not stomach the sound
of his awfully querulous wife

so one day traubo went down
to the isle of inisfree
and in one maginificent bound
he shot himself in the knee

*i'm sorry for that

box of fun: a poem


the box!
the box of fun!
gonna catch it!
gonna run around the man!

jungle boy

a fun friend adventure

Thursday, May 17, 2007

tonsil o!: a poem

say it man
tonsil o!
say it go
tonsil o!

friend of happer
friend of man
tractor o!, tractor o!

there's a copper hen
no there's not?
oh i get it now

Magazines to which I subscribe

    • Giant Robot Standard
    • Honeybee Prospectus
    • H.H. Poodog's
    • Golden Bar Man! Magazine
    • Tencho Weekbon
    • Gatekeeper Lord Digest

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

endoscope: a poem


amongst the reeds
you find a tortoise
and it's so bodacious

what would you do?
what-what-what would you do?
a chicka chow now


you're on your boat
your boat
there's a pork man
he's so friendly
and he sayin',
o children
consider phlebas
who was so bodacious
just like
snap it

porqal bobs: a poem

all day long
porqal bobs
in the trees and in the houses
porqal bobs
at the store they sell
porqal bobs
in my head i hear about
porqal bobs

the end

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

the emerald voyage: a poem

among all hounds
we watch
we seek
we dare

enter all flesh
the devouring of the soul
i wish someone would shoot me
you know, with a gun
beep beep, crab meat

truck men: a poem

truck men
hard men
men i love
men you love

we're all brothers
at the factory
we're all brothers
in my dreams...

soul freakin': a freak-out

everybody at
the kiwanis club
wanna talk about

soul freakin'

everybody at
the nights of columbo
talkin' bout

a-soul freakin'

Monday, May 14, 2007

the shell of the waves: a love poem

so sweet like nectar
so heavenly like the stars
this feeling of freedom
this feeling of sweet times

you are to me
like the starfish is to the waves
always hiding in its shell
but only once
only once does it come out
and show everyone its beauty
in the water

that is the depth of our love

able-bodied young men: a poem

working on the train
working on the boat
working on the house
working on the car

everywhere in the world
able-bodied young men
they're getting together!
and they're having a good time!

trinket bow: a poem

i make my milk
i make my chow
i make lots of ribbons
and eat them
because i hate my parents

the king train: a poem

the king train
the god train
wonder where they go
oh oh oh
a frog and a ham
together in a bowl
together in a bowel
tripping the rift
sundays at eleven
thank you

tarantula rock: a song

did you hear?
there's a time
and a place
for everything!!!!

a time for love - tarantula rock!
a time for fun - tarantula rock!

who's that on my window?
it's a man named gary
does gary want some crab legs?
fuck yeah he does!
let's go!

lobster: a poem


take it down
take it on
out in the sea
out in the dunes
(so dark!)


everybody says
they see the lobster
ain't nobody funky enough
is my opinion

Sunday, May 13, 2007



oak tree love

a new generation discovers the pleasure

booster engine: a long poem


we go we go
to and fro
to and fro
o i see the angels
they're doin' thangs


sing a song
cabbage is cheap
so is life


i don't know, what are you doing?
i don't know, just hanging out
why, what's up?
uh huh?


seven men
eight women
crabs everywhere
the kingdom of the lord


sing me a song, o boatkeeper
make it one of fish and dreams
and love and hope and all those things
and mountains and sweets
and most of all
make it a song of the times


we're gonna make it this time
we're gonna catch that rainbow
in the booster engine

The Wrong Time For Love: A Sad Song

(sung to the tune of "My Tallahassee Angel" by Rupert Ogleton)

I thought about love...
I thought about m'darling...
And then I saw...
Nobody's talkin'...
About love no more.....

Everywhere I go....
Everybody so so crazy....
But I'm a man...
With a heart...
And a guitar....

And Sheeeeeila!
You ain't in the house when I called you!
And Sheeeeeila!
I was singin' bout the rocket ships for you!

But ohhhhhh, ain't no time for love...

These daaaaays.....

A Song To Pump You Up

Come on!
Let's do it!
Let's go!
Good times!
Let's go!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Let's move!
Let's dance!
Let's work!
Have fun!

dog boss: a poem

here it is
i'm gonna show you

listen now
i'm gonna tell you

tell you about the...


friendship in space: a poem

when the meteor goes
when the moon is going
where the jupiter goes
let's all get together
in the year of the future
let me hear you say yeah!
in the year of the moon men
we're gonna say yeah!

sometimes i think
sometimes i believe
that the moon, the moon
it's made of cheese!
all right!

six o'clock = ape o'clock

the Federal Gov't just announced it. from now on, six o'clock is to be known as ape o'clock.


"half past six"

is now

"half past ape"

Adjust clocks accordingly.

coming soon:

the devil's ham sandwich

one last dance for sweetness: a love poem

do you know
what my heart says
on the day of love?
i wish i could
i wish...
i want to put my thoughts
into the clouds,
and push them around
so they spell out your name
and shit

good time rap: a rap

rap rap rappin'
rappin' on the streets
rappin' all day
rappin' to the beats
rappin's what we do
every afternoon
havin' lots of fun
and watchin' cartoons!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

tame love: a poem


cadillac lovin'
youth in love
kings and love


the time is here
for the elephant show
do you want to go with me?
yes or no
no? okay
i'm just gonna sit maybe
maybe just sit here
watch a nature special or something
maybe think about killing myself
but you have a good time with jake, ok?
no hard feelings

here i go a cloud: a dream poem

in my dream i am a cloud
i do not like when things are loud
everybody here is proud
everybody here is moud
crab legs are 5 smackers a batch
get in line, fuckface

plugging: a poem

e'r'body plugging
where's my cat?
he's plugging
where's my dog?
he's plugging

frog-man: a poem

here comes frog-man
look at him go
here comes frog-man
look at him go
there goes frog-man
look at him go
there goes frog-man
look at him go

Friday, May 11, 2007

the song of the goldfisch: a poem

one day
under clouds of ambro'
under clouds, ambro'
we gon'
and shit
listen up
this shit is the real
i'll even throw in these beach towels
'cause you my boy
, q*bert.

You're killin' me, guys. You're killin' me.

Where's that fire. I need that fire. I need my boys here. I need that sweet magic right now. I need that forrealness. Lemme hear y'all say yeah. Lemme hear y'all say hell yeah. I wanna hear the ladies in the back. Y'all ladies. Y'all fellas. C'mon now. C'mon'ow. I need that sweet magic fire.

The Holy Jericho Tompkins

One day, not long ago, a man of healthy age took a long and pleasing bike ride through a dark and winding wood. He eventually came to a stop after seeing a large fallen tree had blocked his path. Disembarking from his bicycle, he said a silent prayer to the Lord and, lo, there appeared before him, as if out of thin air, a stout, burly man with skin of gold.
"Gadzooks!" said the bike-rider, in surprise.
"Behold!" said the glorious golden man. "I am Jericho Tompkins, servant of our Lord, keeper of the faith, defender of the holy, and seeker of the chosen."
"I hope you can assist me, sir," said the bike-rider, still surprised.
"Behold!" said Jericho Tompkins, looking as radiant and as golden as ever. "I have heard your prayer and will help you presently, but first you must agree to a most ominous bargain."
"Whatever you ask, Mr. Tompkins," said the bewildered bike-rider. "Just that you deliver me from my trouble."
"Behold!" said the colossal man of gold as he produced from his massive rucksack a long wooden rod. "This is my magic staff, carved from a mystical disbarked elm tree by the Lord's sacred craftsmen. With it, I shall spirit you to your home, to live safely for all your days."
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Tompkins!" cried the bike-rider.
"Behold!" shouted the Holy Jericho Tompkins. "You must still agree on one condition, and one only. I desire a wife for to bear me sons, and I shall take yours in exchange for your ensured well-being."
The bike-rider, at first shocked, decided that he would agree to the deal. In the flicker of an instant, he found himself back in his country cottage. His wife was indeed gone, nowhere to be found, and he would never see her again for the rest of his days. Twenty-six years later, he died of a heart attack in his sleep. His funeral arrangements were handled by the state of South Dakota.

The End.

Farmer Tootlejohn

One day in the heat of March, a soggy hobo drifter decided to rest on a stretch of open field. But lo, after sleeping a few minutes he was abrutly awoken by a hard blow to the head. He looked up to see a herculean figure in stylish overalls holding a rake.
"Say hey!" said the hobo. "Why'd you strike me?"
"My name," said the imposing figure, "is Farmer Tootlejohn, and I'll not have my granpappy's field tainted with the stink of an itinerant drunkard."
"Why, I'm sorry, sir," said the hobo, who was indeed very sorry.
"The Lord may know mercy," said Farmer Tootlejohn, "but I do not."
The hobo drifter, in his final moments before being savagely beaten beyond the point of recovery, thought on his beautiful wife and the children he would never see off to college.

The End.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

birking thompson: a poem

lo birking thompson
how you scale the mountains
how you drink the waters
how you skate the ices
how you struggle and heap
how you fight the evils

bister of thoughts: a poem

duke lord
heavenly vassel
yall got to feel me

crab legs: a poem

you find the crab
you take the legs off the crab
you eat them
crab legs

Snape kills Dumbledore

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