Thursday, September 18, 2008

the supermarket wouldn't hire me: a poem

supermarket don't want me
supermarket don't like me
feel me, feel me
y'all got to feel me
supermarket hatin'
supermarket hatin'
death blooms eternally
in this fucked up society

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

jigsaw puzzle: a catchy song

a happy family
puts it together
jigsaw puzzle

a happy couple
puttin' it together
jigsaw puzzle

would you
could you
ooh ah ooh ah
jigsaw puzzle

life is a puzzle
the mysteries of love
jigsaw puzzle

feeling so enchanted
let the rhythm take you over
jigsaw puzzle

Saturday, August 30, 2008

You're On Your Way To: Dolderer

All readers directed to project of interest from Friend-of-SifBlog D. Dolderer callsign "Bauber" on non-company site

the wall: a poem

i look at the wall
i stare at the wall
interesting stuff
new giant clam species discovered
please end my misery, lord

forbidden temple: a poem

you've lost your magic
and your spring in your step
you're dumb and fat
and you don't have a job
i can help you, i can help you
just come with me
to the forbidden temple
it from the pit
hi ho cherry-o
to the forbidden temple we go

scene at circus: a poem

at the circus today
a most splendid thing did i see
two great elephants
bedecked in silks from lands exotic
walking 'twixt them, a tiger
standing top the tiger, a monkey
floating 'bove the monkey, a hawk
what a scene, what a scene
what a scene
(wait for it)
at the circus

i walk alone along the grim docks and piers of my heart: a poem

i walk
i walk alone
these grim docks
these grim piers
the grim water below
how it reflects our inner turmoil
how strange it is, how strange
to see you here
standing there, like you own the place
the nerve of this guy

Sunday, July 27, 2008

dogbrain man: a song for a hero

dogbrain man
what a dogbrain can
is what he does
he's dogbrain man

dogbrain man
has a dogbrain plan
to be as dogbrain
as he dogbrain can

a look inside: the mind of the artist

how i labor over every word!
every single word!
every teeny little word!
every single word of this poem!
o! what it does to me!
the pain!
o! how i labor!
how i labor!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I wrote a Batman screenplay of my own, you know.

Back in 2002. Strongly influenced by Bergman in general and Roth's "The Anatomy Lesson" in particular. The story was as follows: Bruce Wayne, five years into his career as a crimefighter, finds himself mentally and physically fatigued without any apparent cause. In crippling pain, embittered, unable to even leave his brownstone in downtown Gotham, he forsakes his superhero identity (what he calls his "bat-self"). Preparing for a tour of the Holy Land on the advice of his manservant Alfred, he is shocked into normalcy by the appearance of a dangerous new arrival to the city - a flamboyant thief in auguste clown attire calling himself "The Jokester" (mistakenly dubbed "Joker" by the press). Wayne prepares himself for action - he is miraculously reinvigorated. All is lost, though, when the Jokester is shot and killed by a police SWAT team during a bank robbery. Thrown yet again into one of his famously black depressions, Wayne takes to the streets as the Batman and, in what would be a shocking, heartwrenching scene, savagely beats a pickpocket to within an inch of his life. The film would end in the comatose victim's hospital room, with our tormented hero keeping a bedside vigil, praying for forgiveness, guidance, and the meaning he knows will never come.

Anyway, Paramount was interested for a while, but wouldn't budge without some pretty heavy changes. Among other things they wanted the epigraph gone (Psalm 116:11 - "I said in my haste, All men are liars.") and, typically, wanted the Commissioner Gordon character changed back to a white man. Long story short, nothing came of it, but I did get to meet Robert Evans.

operation: a poem

noperation notperation
an impressive showing
an impressive operation
doctor does his magic
doctor summons the queen of knowledge
when he consults,
she is forbidden to lie
and must impart upon him
sacred truths
and sacred wisdom
from her holy book in the clouds
and yeah, one day we shall get there
one day we shall get to the promised land
and i ask you to trust in me
that i will finish this operation
and spell the right operation
and avoid denial of entry

night of hearts: a poem

on this night of heats
i see a million mountains
i'd like to climb
but never shall
oh, woe
woe, woe, oh, woe
whoa, whoa, whoa, baby

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

dermot's hunger: a poem

dermot feels so hungry
he goes to the beach to find
his crab and eat it but he
doesn't find it there and
he goes to the forest

a bad decision
but he must live with it

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

follow the way: a poem

what this crap, man
what you doing, man
corn pepper born
life pepper life
beyond all freshness
lies the truth
beyond the truth
lies consequence
this is the way
follow the way
experience the flavor
for a limited time only

clams: a poem

on the bed of the ocean
clams sit and talk
they ask about life
and wonder what life is like
these clams want to learn
to learn
to learn is noble
be like the clam
a good message

maple syrup: a poem

taste this delicious maple syrup
taste the freshness
taste the incredible flavor
this maple syrup sure is good
thanks, mom

Monday, July 7, 2008

i'm a duck: a poem

i live in a pond
i'm a duck
forward to lumphaven
i make my home
i understand people
when they talk to me
they feed me bread
and i thank them personally

Friday, July 4, 2008

Point Insertion

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Sunday, June 29, 2008

burnt offering: a poem

leave your shillings on the quay,
my lad
visit the leprechaun in the shire,
my lad

travel far, learn of culture
meet the leprechaun, win your prize
an amazing opportunity
an amazing offer
speak up today
with a burnt offering
of crisp leaves of palm
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh jesus

booflo-cheeflo update: a poem

here it comes again
the update they want
the update they wants
the council consumes you
holy crud
the council writes the laws
holy cow
swing it and sing it for the council
and make this update happen

Monday, June 16, 2008

the question: a poem-song

she once ruled the seas
where has she gone?
no man knows

no man knows
do i live in a box?
no man knows
do i live in a cave?
no man knows

they once ruled the skies
where have they gone?
none shall know

none shall know
where is my cave?
none shall know
where is my home?
none shall know

it once ruled the space
where did it go?
we don't know

we don't know
where is my home?
we don't know
who took my home?
we don't know
where is the earth?
we don't know

the what poem

jam all your crap
in a fat stupid hole
all your crab and your crap
in a crab legs hole
why the sense it makes
when you realize the plan
and up is not down
but left and down is again

whale-museum: a poem

the whaling museum
the house of scrimshaw
ooh, ah
this amazing place
what do you think
when you scale the walls
you think about whales
hot, steamy guilt

oh my god: a poem

oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god
oh my god, oh my god

emotions: a poem that will change you

hard emotions
painful emotions
fresh emotions
good emotions
feel the emotions
yes, the emotions


runoff: a poem

what's that you said?
you wonder as you wander
an interesting observation about
an interesting observation
so exciting, you said?
how wonderful, that observation
how wonderful an observation about
a wonderful that observation that

Sunday, May 25, 2008

closet: a poem

put things in your closet
go ahead, put them in your closet
put cans in your closet
put them in your closet
put very much happy in your closet
and tennis racket in your closet
and voyage four-four-eight-two in your closet
make your closet full of stuff
in the year 2000

poor performance tonight: a poem

poor performance tonight, jacob
poor performance tonight, reginald
you did poorly out there
your performance was poor
and you were poor
and reginald

fat grossman, attorney at law: a poem

fat grossman, attorney at law
on his desk a peach
on his desk a lemon
on his desk fresh oleander
this is the second coming
of our humble messiah

anthem for composing yourself: a poem

here is the anthem
for composing yourself
in the morning

take two dips of powder
and one taste of happiness
and put them together
and make a wish
and it will come true
i ga-rawn-tee

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

be quiet: a poem

everyone must be quiet
someone is coming
someone hears us
we must be quiet
hush, be quiet
stop that noise, be quiet
someone hears us, be quiet
stop making noise
be quiet

against the wind: a beautiful poem

harp against the wind
sing against the wind
that's so beautiful,
that art you make
you're so creative
wow, what a savings

nighttime in indiana: a poem

nighttime in indiana
the boys are here
the girls are here
nighttime in indiana
the street is here
the car is here
they get together
and make progress happen

nighttime in indiana
so dark and dreary
oh, my soul
oh, my freaking soul

Friday, April 18, 2008

carrot cake: a poem

ready cargo bay
for optimum loadout
carrot cake is on the way
carrot cake incoming

delicious and nutritious
funky and suspicious
carrot cake coming
carrot cake inbound

voyage to ends of earth
find no cake like carrot cake
sing the praises of the lord
i think he loves the carrot cake


Thursday, April 17, 2008

three poems: a poem

the voyage out
is long
and not fun
but the voyage in
isn't any better

do you remember
that amazing song
it went doo-doo-doo
and we danced all night?

good times that year
good times this year
good times all year
when you're dancing the fun way

strong man: a poem

tap my barge
give you a strong ability
then i take you down
because i'm strong, man

say those words
you lose your ability
then i take you down
you ain't strong, man

yeah, yeah, that's me
i'm the strong man
check me out,
i'm the strong man

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

orders about zoo: a poem

go to the zoo
no, go to the zoo
see the thing in the place
the thing that goes in the water
the thing that teaches us
...that we are just humans, brother
go to that zoo
be in that zoo
experience all the zoo
sing that zoo song
like our ancestors
like our ancestors
you sing that zoo song
you make that zoo song
you experience that zoo life
you become the universe

clear window: a poem

i need a clear window
let me have a clear window
so i can be at peace
i want to see the world
through my clear window
my incredible window
my window that will change the world
just by my observing it

protection: a brief poem

armored goldfish
armored core
fishtank protection
for the king of goldfish
nightmare alley
nightmare town
fishtank protection
is not for that other kind of goldfish

Thursday, April 10, 2008

goodbye: a poem

goodbye to the hills
goodbye to the mountains
goodbye to scaling them
because my legs are gone

goodbye to my legs
goodbye to my legs
goodbye to my legs
because my legs are gone

goodbye to my eyes
goodbye to my legs
but mostly my eyes
and mostly my legs

language: a song-poem

i write that new language
that strong language
that language that gets in your brain
and makes it amazing

your brain is amazing
your brain is amazing
check out a book
from your local library

your brain is amazing
your brain is amazing
put it to use:
build a factory

your brain is amazing
your brain is amazing
why not use it?
think up some thoughts

my language amazing
my language amazing
makes your brain amazing
makes the world amazing

the cry of the people: a poem

we like that umbrella
that umbrella right there
buy it for us
buy it for us

we like this suitcase
this suitcase right here
buy it for us
buy it for us

Monday, April 7, 2008

important news: a poem

important news
important news
i'm gonna give you that
important news
hell yeah
i'm gonna give teach you things
i'm gonna give you news
it's gonna be the news
hell yeah

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

worm in five segments: a poem


underground, a worm lives
not on the ground
but underground
like the mole people


the worm represents
and hate
and fear
and rejection
and hope
and love
the worm represents it twice


born into the world
a worm is so confused
i mean, it doesn't even know its own name


my grandmother was kind to me
she raised me from the time i was a pup
one day she told me
that worms were what held the dead in place
to keep them from rising


important worm announcement
no worms were hurt during the making of this worm poem
thanks to worms and the english language for making this possible

memories of youth: a poem

as a young boy i was told
never to look into the sun
and never to talk to strangers
well, guess what
today i bought some sunglasses
and i'm gonna stare at the sun all i want
and i talk to strangers all i want
you don't own me, dad

understanding the lord: a poem

who among us, i ask you,
can hope to understand the lord?
his mysterious ways
his incredible power
who could ever hope to understand?
the way he moves
the way he plays with his hair
and you fall in love all over again

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

yeah! a fun song!

oh oh oh
that's good to know
he he he
that's good to be
everybody's happy
everybody's groovin'
everybody's crappy
everybody's movin'

Friday, March 14, 2008

nightshade 214 gamma: a

poison funberry
and also a fun ride to the doctor
is what awaits you at amazing happytown
located next to open circus
on route of fun
next to fun world
next to 299 776 55
388 653
3 3 88
je7 7
nine and six

wow borno: a poem

i met a man named wow borno
i asked him what his name meant
he told me to look in my heart
and i told him that that didn't make sense

but he was right, of course
i looked in my heart
my deepest heart, my heart of hearts
and i learned that wow borno
means peace on earth and loving kinship
and that is so amazing

ruminations: a poem

i thought i would own a house
off in the country somewhere,
with a kit-cat klock in the kitchen
and doors we'd never bother to lock

but it was not to be

no, it was not to be
i was not to live this beautiful dream
this idyll that men strive and die for
because, uh...
i don't know, it turns out i'm a ghost or something

the unforgivable poem: a poem

my sister just called from baltimore
she said:
need a dispenser here
need a dispenser here

strong poem: a poem

strong words from a strong man
are good for making strong things
strong box
strong nailpost
strong length of tape
strong voyage
strong building
strong mail building
are you convinced now?

ranger: a poem

i was in the brown and grey place
and i wanted to know why i was there
and they would not tell me why i was there
and i asked again
and they said
it's not important, so do not ask
and i huffed and i puffed
and that is how i became the man i am today

painting short: a short

poking painting
with a hand that does not feel paintings

this is metaphor #984625 for criticism of painting

divorce: a poem

need divorce must have divorce
divorce unit alpha
must do the divorce
section of h-document green
i want that divorce
and h-document green wants divorce

truth and honesty: a poem

no mountain high enough
no river deep enough
no storm fierce enough
no poison deadly enough
to keep me from loving and hugging ponies

a new man: a poem

here i am
a new man
not named wallace or jerry
but david, father of solomon
born back ceaselessly into posting exciting news items
on the science fiction messageboard i call my home

Thursday, March 6, 2008

the anthem: a catchy tune for everyone

i wanna live in a cave in a ground
i wanna live in a cave in a ground
i wanna live in a cave in a ground
bop bop doot doot sing it

i wanna live in a cave in the ground
i wanna live in a cave in the ground
i wanna live in a cave in the ground
bop bop doot doot sing it all right


houses: a poem

off to the side
you will see many houses
pay close attention
and you'll find they are filled with people
that's right
people live in those houses

islands: a short poem

small islands
large islands
i visit all kinds of islands

short islands
tall islands
yes, all kinds of islands

Friday, February 29, 2008

the thoughts of the modern man: a poem

floating through the air
like a million horses made of gold
flying on the sky
like the dreams of every man and child
that is where you'll find me

swimming in the ocean
saying hello to every fish
because they are my friends
fish are my only friends
in the ocean

no one knows where to find me
i guess i'll have to tell them
holy cow, i'll have to tell them
where to find me
where to find me

battery is good: a poem

battery is good
battery is my friend
battery is my frog-friend
when you play in the rain
you get wet

battery is nice
battery is badger friend
battery is mole and rat friend
when you play in the rain
you get wet

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

room: a poem

we are all stuck here in this room
there's the fat guy
and the boneless woman who made the weird noise with her head
and there's the garbage can
what am i supposed to say to that?

Monday, February 25, 2008

in the woods: a short sketch

in the woods
on one of my walks
you know, the ones i take every morning
i saw an oak tree
with very strong roots
and i thought,
that would make a great metaphor

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

checked spines: a poem

our checked spines hold us upright
we fly and sail
and voyage to the ends of the earth
so that we may find more checked spines
to hold things upright

Monday, February 18, 2008

Extreme SifBlog Fan Art

From SifBlog fan Mike Ninjain. Visit Ninjart for more art.

an idyll: a poem

say, friend
walk with me to the grocery store
where we shall buy milk, and lettuce
and discuss things like
the lord
his works
and i will lead you to happiness
through my homegrown wisdom
i write space fiction stories

blag ices: a poem

rain and snow and sleet and ice
that is very very very nice
everywhere the weather goes
i still like to see the snows
man, what a dumb idea that was
life is bullshit
i don't wanna live no mo'

calhoun: a short poem

you follow me where i go
you provide cover fire
you are a good friend
thank you, barney calhoun

Sunday, February 17, 2008

request for dog: a poem

what? yes?
dog? my dog, hello?
listen, my dog, be a real dog
be a happy dog
are you listening?
do you want the magic?
do you want the powers?
are you a dog or a super dog?
have the confidence, do it best!
all right!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

gold stocks are too low: a poem

oil fields, oil wells
oils feels, oil's well
wood needed, gold needed
stone needed, wood needed

from the britons to the byzantines
oil feels and is well
from the celts to the saracens
oil feels and is well

from campania to lugdunum
from lugdunum to londinium
from londinium to sihnon
oil needed, gold needed

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

the song of lizards and frogs: a poem

lord of lizards
and of frogs
hear my prayer:
i want lizards and frogs
and i want them every day

not once a week
not once a month
not for special occasions
but every day

there are not enough lizards in the world
there are not enough frogs in the world
the world needs more of them
we need more of them
i need more of them
give us more of them

lizards, frogs
all day long
green and yellow, pleasant fellow
black and tan, my good man

the sky: a poem

when i was a young lad
i saw that the sky was blue
and thought
it is because the sky is filled
with blue fish

how foolish i was
so foolish
not to realize the truth
that it was because god made the sky
and blue is his favorite color

Monday, February 4, 2008

blorion: a poem

in the future,
there will be a city
a city called blorion

it will be amazing
it will be in space
it will be made of strong metals
and it will carry people...
across the galaxy

in the future,
the galaxy will be huge
and it will hold many cities
just like blorion

Friday, February 1, 2008

bumblebee valley: a poem

i once spent a year
traveling through bumblebee valley
each hour more grueling than the next
my confusion
my fear
oh, the fear
but then i finally found a gas station
and they gave me directions out of there
boy, am i glad that's over

Monday, January 28, 2008

morgus brokay, the happy songster: a poem

look out below, young men and women
because there is a happy ship docking
and you are about to leave on it

don't be crazy,
don't be fighting amongst yourselves
there is happy room for everyone on this happy ship

wherever the happy ship goes, i am there
my name is morgus brokay
and i am the happy songster

Friday, January 18, 2008

principles of geology: a poem

ahoy there
avast there
we are searching for feldspar there
this is our mission:
find the feldspar

we travel high and low
we do not seek moral purpose
only feldspar

through no fault of ours
precious gold turns to lead
grain to frigid dust
and groundwater to sand

in civilization:
a drill rig, operational
lacanian theory
polychlorinated biphenyls
and the anti-mass spectrometer

these were our home
but now we know only feldspar

Thursday, January 17, 2008

truncheon: a small poem

when there are dragons
i go after them with my truncheon
because i am the hero of this story

beer table: a poem

inward to beer table
beer table knows the elements
and he spells them out
so that we can think
about the elements

beer table learned a lot
from that one fellow with the
funny name

hluyck: a poem

building produces hluyck
confuses and recoils
hluyck taught me everything i know
about that particular historical figure
what good is that now, man

source beat: a poem

pay attention to the source beat
live in a cave, it's all right
make notes about the source beat
sleep on a desert floor, oh yeah, chooga chooga

Monday, January 14, 2008

the depot of maintaining thought: a poem

at the depot of maintaining thought
we have a line
things go by
and we pick things off the line
and we put them in boxes
and we call them thing-boxes
i know, i know
it sounds crazy
but believe me:
i definitely work
at the depot of maintaining thought

Sunday, January 13, 2008

friday the thirteenth: a poem

it's friday the thirteenth
in my little town
here we have garbage cans
and there we have a street lamp
but it's friday the thirteenth
so i can't use them
wow, what a sad day

Saturday, January 12, 2008

pumpkin patch: a poem


there is rime on my pumpkins
thought the farmer

and soft hoarfrost

how melancholy is my life


the farmer thought
about escaping to the city
and then laughed

because that was so ironic


the farmer looked over his pumpkin patch
and he thought about his pumpkins

....or did he?????

stars: a poem

sometimes at night
i look up at
the stars
and i think,
you stars sure are great
but they don't say anything

the frog band: a poem

we went to see the frog band play
i had a fun time
and john had a fun time
and pete had a fun time
and susan had a fun time
but mary did not have a fun time
because mary
doesn't like the frog band

evolution blues: a poem

i have the evolution blues, brother
i was a fish, now i am a mammal
i was a squirtle, now i am a wartortle
i have got those evolution blues, brother