Sunday, July 20, 2008

I wrote a Batman screenplay of my own, you know.

Back in 2002. Strongly influenced by Bergman in general and Roth's "The Anatomy Lesson" in particular. The story was as follows: Bruce Wayne, five years into his career as a crimefighter, finds himself mentally and physically fatigued without any apparent cause. In crippling pain, embittered, unable to even leave his brownstone in downtown Gotham, he forsakes his superhero identity (what he calls his "bat-self"). Preparing for a tour of the Holy Land on the advice of his manservant Alfred, he is shocked into normalcy by the appearance of a dangerous new arrival to the city - a flamboyant thief in auguste clown attire calling himself "The Jokester" (mistakenly dubbed "Joker" by the press). Wayne prepares himself for action - he is miraculously reinvigorated. All is lost, though, when the Jokester is shot and killed by a police SWAT team during a bank robbery. Thrown yet again into one of his famously black depressions, Wayne takes to the streets as the Batman and, in what would be a shocking, heartwrenching scene, savagely beats a pickpocket to within an inch of his life. The film would end in the comatose victim's hospital room, with our tormented hero keeping a bedside vigil, praying for forgiveness, guidance, and the meaning he knows will never come.

Anyway, Paramount was interested for a while, but wouldn't budge without some pretty heavy changes. Among other things they wanted the epigraph gone (Psalm 116:11 - "I said in my haste, All men are liars.") and, typically, wanted the Commissioner Gordon character changed back to a white man. Long story short, nothing came of it, but I did get to meet Robert Evans.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're one sad, lonely fuck.

sacha said...

ironically, i actually serve robert "bob" evans dinner on a regular basis. ill put in a good word for you sifl.

Anonymous said...

is this supposed to be funny?

honky_adonis said...

This was brilliant.

Mr. Saflo said...

anonyfriend 1: Thank you.

sacha: Thank you.

anonyfriend 2: No.

honky: Thank you.

C. said...

Did you get to do some blow with Robert Evans? hahaha

RoyRogersYouKnow,TheCowboyGuy? said...

heh heh hah heh hah heh hah heh hah heh hah heh I get it!

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.